Upside down, inside out and bass ackwards. That's how I felt watching the firestorm premiere of Real Housewives of New York City. Since I'm not one to fight the feelings, before we dig into episode one of RHNY lets stay with the backwards theme. We'll start at the end and work our way forward by first addressing Jill Zarin's appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen:
Okay, not really. But close enough, right?
Holy hell, is this get-up one of the Secrets of a Jewish Mother? 'Cause this Brassy gentile is in complete darkness.
You should've seen my face when it dawned on me that she was for real. I repeat: this was not a joke...or a joke she was in on anyway. Andy Cohen called it her Madonna Celebration look. Or Holiday. Or Gloria Estefan. Or something. Whatever the case, he was being kind. By the way, this is my very own photo. Somehow I still had my wits about me after surviving the RHNY premiere; so when I saw this I jumped off the couch and started hooting and hollering around our family room like a deranged, pajama-clad amateur photographer. And yes, that's
Ginger Gin-jah on her lap. Jill was sure to tell us Gin-jah is wearing a kimono as a show of solidarity with Japan. Excuse me?! What. The. Fuck. Don't bring the Japanese into this Jill, haven't they been through enough already?
That ill-fitting bustier is from her latest line of something or other bullshit. Meaning: she expects you to buy one. I'm unclear if it's meant to be an undergarment or what , but obviously if you're Jill Zarin you feel it's a strong enough piece to stand on its own. She didn't mention licensing her name to an el-cheapo hair extension line, but it's entirely possible her mane was pulled so tight she simply forgot. She's got a lot of wares to hawk after all.
Ramona was on WWHL too. They fought. Jill bitched. Andy called her out a few times, which was great. Schadenfreude. Then Ramona and Jill made up...I think. But none of that really mattered to me. All I cared about was Jill's "new look".
This post started as the intro to my recap, but I feel that it's strong enough to stand on it's own...much like Jill's home-made, black and white bustier. What a coinky-dink.
Recap coming soon.
Stay strong Ginger.